What population are you focusing on, specifically? Occasionally, it seems like you’re focusing specifically on unaccompanied homeless youth. But at other moments, you seem to be discussing homeless youth who are accompanied by their parents. This is one major thing you need to be clearer about throughout your paper. Also, you need to historicize this problem. When did this problem become a problem? Has it gotten worse at particular moments? Is it worse now than it was 10 or 20 or 30 years ago? This will help you begin to think about the historical causes of the problem, which you don’t really go into much in this draft. Lastly, you need to focus more on institutional and policy failures instead of focusing on individual failures, like parents’ mistreatment of their children. Although this may be a large cause of the problem, this paper should focus more on the institutional failures. For instance, why aren’t there more services for these youths? If there are programs to re-house homelessness children, why aren’t these programs working? Etc.
It is the same comment, but think it more deeply. Please help improve the paper. You could add some pictures to make the paper more convincing. Please mark improvements in different color. Thanks.