Motivation and its correlation to student’s success in ASU

I wrote a somewhat research paper but I’m missing a lot of information and have a hard time answering all the instructions. I need help with correcting my essay and adding missing information. I know i have a lot of missing stuff. This is just half on the assignment. I still have other instructions that are due next week that I haven’t started working on it.

Here what my professor wrote in comments:

his is a great start Sastelmar! You make a clear link between your proposed research and the call for proposals and bring up the specific values and goals of ASU (which is a great way to get a funding agency on board with your ideas!). The biggest suggestion that I have for you is to be more clear in the specific study variables that you are going to include and how you are going to measure them. Your description currently is rather vague. You should be able to give each variable a name, assign a method of data collection, and talk about what that specific variable is important. Also, please be sure to use a professional tone throughout your paper, including avoiding contractions.

You have some good ideas here Sastelmar, but your study is not fully developed. For example, you are required by research ethics (and this assignment) to have informed consent. You cannot conduct a study with human participants without it. Please describe the topics that you would cover in informed consent (including potential risks, because there are always risks!) and how confidentiality will be handled. You also are required to have a consent form. In addition, the sample you are describing is not large enough to be generalizable. You mention this directly, but instead you need to come up with a sample that will be generalizable. It is currently MUCH too small. Finally, I need more justification for why you are using a cross-sectional study than simply saying it is common. How does it best meet the needs of the call for proposals?