Personal Statement for college application

Hi, I upload my writing paper. I need help for to check the spelling, grammar, and to edit with strong words and sentences. This paper will be apply to college. That’s why please make a decision for me “is that paper acceptable for admission?” You are free to edit my essay to make stronger and acceptable from admission. You can add more words and sentences if you need. I highlighted the sentences that I think are not correct grammar. Please check the grammar with specific. Please help me,.