Please Ensure work is Original and free of Plagiarism, work will be ran thru Turnitin.
Review these two memos written by two of your classmates and provide the following feedback. Write in complete sentences, and offer concrete, applicable observations. Your reviews of your peers should be 150–200 words for each review include:
- Three strengths of the memo
- Three shortcomings of the memo
- Two suggestions for improving the memo
Post your feedback as a response to the initial memo posting. Please take time to see what your peers offer as feedback on your writing. It is a valuable opportunity to see both the sender and receiver side of the communication process.
MEMO 1
Memo
To: Ronnie Ray, Athletic Director
From: Tim Franklin, Head Coach Women’s Basketball
CC: Karin Mann, Associate Athletic Director
Scott Allen, Chief Financial Officer
Date: August 30, 2016
Subject: Funding for a business writing course at Naugatuck Valley Community College
I am writing to request funding to take a business-writing course at Naugatuck Valley Community College. This class will assist me with writing to different businesses around the Waterbury community for our athletic and women’s basketball fundraising needs.
The course will help me tailor my communications in the appropriate format and for the designated audiences. The professor who teaches has the extensive understanding of the type of business writing that I will need in order to bring increased dollars for our athletic fund. This course will help me communicate with local and national high school and club coaches, high school administrators, parents, and other college coaches in a professional manner.
Our University will benefit from the increase in positive responses from our alumnae, local businesses and colleagues in our fundraising efforts. The class, Effective Writing on the Job, is offered on November 10 and 17 from 9:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. both days. The total cost of the class is 300 dollars. It is offered at Naugatuck Valley Community College’s main campus, which is 10 minutes from Post University. The dates and times will not interfere with my work schedule because I would work on Saturday and Sunday prior to those two Mondays in order to offset the missing time.
To register on time, I would need the following paperwork on September 16, 2016 by 5:00 p.m. Since this would be a third-party payment, a tuition authorization letter must accompany my student registration. This letter must be on Post’s letterhead. It should include my full name, Taj McWilliams-Franklin and the course title and number: Effective Writing on the Job, CRN: 4144. It must include the name and address of the responsible party in order to send the invoice. The statement must include the university’s promise to pay with the tuition amount ($300.00) included.
I am asking for funding to take the business-writing course, Effective Writing on the Job, from Naugatuck Valley Community College in order to improve all aspects of my professional writing correspondences that are sent to parents, high school coaches, prospective student-athletes, alumnae, and local businesses. If approved, I will need the tuition authorization paperwork by September 16, 2016 by 5:00 p.m. If you need anything else from me, please reach out to me via the Lync online messaging system, email me directly at timfranklin@post.edu, or call me at 601-922-3021. Thank you for your time.
MEMO 2
Date: August 24, 2016
To: Eric Powell
Director/General Manager, BECON
CC: Tracy Clark
Chief Officer, Public Information Office
From: Mel Fulk
Distance Learning Outreach Specialist
Subject: Approval of funding for a business writing course
I am submitting for your review and approval funding and attendance a 6-week business writing course being offered at Kaplan University during the dates of 9/6/16 – 10/10/16. As registration for this course closes on 9/1/16, your immediate response is requested.
The business writing course at Kaplan University is highly recommended for business professionals to stay up-to-date on business writing standards. This course offers professional learning opportunities to update and refresh business writing and improve communication skills. In addition, the course provides resources and hands-on strategies for improving communications both verbal and written. Topics will include:
· Memoranda
· Business Letters
· Business Reports
The total cost of $1,200 includes registration in the course and any required materials. Attendance for the course will require my absence from the office 1-day per week. Any other work required for the course can be done outside of my regular workday schedule.
In the distance learning community, the majority of communication is through non-verbal format therefore making written communication an essential tool in our industry. We cannot afford to fall behind standards that are constantly changing and evolving.
The knowledge and skills I will have attained through this course will benefit the school district by:
· Affording me the skills to improve communication with our stakeholders
· Helping me to foster new relationships with community leaders in an effort to expand our client base
· Improving my relations with coworkers and management through written communication
· Providing a standards of best practice for written communication that can be shared throughout the district
I am confident that I will gain knowledge and insight that will help to bring my business writing to a higher level. I look forward to applying that knowledge learned in this course to my work so that we can continue to expand the districts network throughout the distance learning community. Thank you for consideration.
Please let me know if you have any questions. You may call my office at (754) 261-1023 or email directly.
